Archive for May, 2011
Making Your Stand Against the Darkness
In case you needed a reminder that our battle is not against flesh and blood…
Peculiar
After camp I drove a couple of my students back home to Kansas. It was good to have the time with the three of them to engage and hear about camp from their perspective.
As a ministry we always try to include as much as we can from various cultural traditions, Kimchi at snack time, worship songs in Spanish, and so on. The goal is that everyone would adjust a little bit to to everyone else, So that we would all be a little bit uncomfortable and nobody has to be completely uncomfortable. Still, despite this, the camp was right in the middle of Missouri, and the great majority of people are white, so it took on a culture that was closer to white Midwestern than anything else.
The 3 girls I rode with were all black, and this made things more than a little bit uncomfortable for them as they adjusted to a culture that put them in a big room with what seemed like a sea of white people.
We talked about this for about an hour. Discussing what could have been done better, and what was done well enough to make them feel at home. Then we got distracted and started singing theme songs from TV shows. We made two stops on the trip, Once for lunch at a deep country BBQ shack, and once in Kansas City to take a break and switch cars. You’ll remember that earlier this year I lost my truck. so the first leg of the trip was in another staff worker’s car, and the next was in the Minivan I’ve been borrowing.
They missed Brandon, a Christian Rapper who left Staff recently to enter church ministry, so when we got into my Minivan I suggested we listen to the album he gave me (I was curious anyway.) By this time I’d been on the road for about 4 hours, the sun was getting low, the air was cool, and my leg was cramped, so I rolled down the window and rested my left leg on the mirror as I drove.
As we drove through Lawrence I stopped at a stoplight and saw that the car next to us had pulled out his camcorder. Apparently he had just never seen anything quite like a relaxed white man, driving through Kansas with 3 black girls while listening to christian Rap.
We turned up the music.
It turns out it’s not very hard at all to be so radical it turns heads.
Liturgical Dance
There is a cult down in Vista California called the Twelve Tribes that I went and visited some time ago.
You should know I don’t use that term lightly. When I say “cult” I don’t mean “people who believe differently from me”, or “people who appear christian but aren’t”. What I mean is that they actually live on a compound separated from the outside world and invite you to join them in exchange for you selling everything you own and laying the money at their feet.
With that said, I actually had a very good time with them. They live a reasonably simple communal agrarian lifestyle, and celebrate together every morning and evening with “Menha” which involved a faux Israeli style party/worship service centered around dancing merrily in a circle. And it’s awesome.
I saw a similar thing at my cousin’s wedding to his Turkish bride, and another variant at a seminar on multiethnicity for the United Methodist Church. Dancing together engenders community, participation, learning and fun. Unlike the ambiguous waving and shifting common to our protestant worship services that resemble a Pearl Jam Concert. The organized choreographed movements of these communities hearken to mind old Irish line dances and Shaker Ceremonies of early America.
Every time I see a group social dancing all together I think “Yes! That, we need to do more stuff like that!”
I saw it again at camp the other night when, in the middle of praise a group of our inner city kids spontaneously broke out in a line dance that appeared to me to be the Cupid Shuffle. It was stinking awesome.
My old girlfriend and I used to Swing Dance to worship songs back at RockHarbor Church, (most of the songs are in 3:4, the rest are Salsas) but without the community element it was a me and her thing, not something everybody was going to get in on. Still I feel like the precedent is there. If you’re a worship leader reading this, this is your opportunity. I claim no ownership over this idea and put it in the public domain. I strongly suggest you try it.
Hot Sauce
The head of our Inner-City Mission Project is named Gerry
Gerry is a great old man, very wise and very neurotic, a few months ago at a staff conference I sat down with him for breakfast.
“Where did you get Cholula?”
I’m pretty sure that’s the first thing I ever said to him. I was bemoaning the bland eggloaf thing they were serving for breakfast and was more than a little surprised to see my favorite sauce for eggs at the table. He didn’t answer the question, but looked at my name tag.
“Ryan, when you enter a room, you need to exegete your surroundings: Observe, Interpret, Apply. Otherwise you miss things in plain sight.”
“Are you saying the Cholula is in plain sight because I looked around and I-“
“You looked where you thought you should look, you did not observe. The Cholula is avaliable, there’s about 10 other condiments there too”
I looked around quizzically, I still did not see any condiment bar “And you noticed this the first day?”
“First meal, sure”
“Wow, did you think to tell anyone?”
“Would you like some?” he said finally passing the bottle to me. I took it, he continued
“You don’t tell people everything you know, you live that way, others will take notice. I wish Christian leaders could learn this.”
The rest of breakfast was consumed with conversation about philosophy and hot sauce. Gerry constantly borrowed analogies from evangelism and mission to describe the properly examined omelet. I took notes.
Gerry’s not at this camp, but when I needed something for my vegetable medley I remembered what he said, and carefully looked around the room. To my surprise I found Tabasco Sauce randomly hanging out in a little alcove at the salad bar.
I started eating my food with Tabasco at every meal, then other staff members joined in. I don’t think the camp was used to people actually knowing where to find the sauce because by the second week they had run out!
Now the trick is to do that with treasures besides hot sauce.
Allie
Last night I came downstairs at camp to find two girls talking “What are you talking about?”
“We’re talking about proclamations of faith”
“Oh cool, have you come to any sorts of conclusions?”
One of the girls, Allie, responded after a brief pause. “I think I’ve concluded, that I’m not ready to make one”
“All right. Why not?”
“Well, I just feel like I still need a sign”
“Oh okay, what sort of sign?”
“A sign from God”
“To signal what?”
“That he… Exists, that he sees me. I just feel like nobody out here really gets me”
Allie went on to talk about how she had been an occasionally homeless girl from California, her father had been a pastor, but no longer, and she knew about the church and didn’t feel she was ready to commit to a system which she found to be less loving.
I sat and talked with her for a long time. I agreed with her about the church and the Christian subculture, we’ve been an embarrassment frankly, and a stumbling block to many people in my generation. We’ve been hypocritical, elitist, consumerist, and dogmatic. We’ve been anti-intellectual and politically problematic At times we’ve even been racist, sexist, classist, and violent. But I also challenged her that none of those things should stop her from pursuing Christ
“Jesus didn’t like religious people much either, and he disapproved of all of those same things in the church. I understand the struggle, but don’t let things the two of you agree on keep you guys apart.”
Allie decided that meeting another Californian misfit pastor’s kid was a pretty compelling sign. She prayed with me that night, and told Jesus for the first time that she had decided to follow him with her life.
On this blog, Fear of Whales. I don’t spend a lot of time extolling the virtues of accepting Jesus. I don’t run through the gospel over and over again. I don’t give “turn or burn” speeches. On the other hand I do spend quite a lot of time criticizing the church. I make fun of Christian game night, Christian dating habits, and Christian treatment of other Christians.
I just want to make it clear, in case somehow one of you wandered onto this site without having first made a commitment to Christ; that I do heartily and sincerely recommend it. and I do heartily and sincerely think the church has issues. But those are problems with Christians, not Jesus.
“don’t let things the two of you agree on keep you guys apart.”
Why Are You Afraid Of Boys?
Hi there, Christian girl.
Yes, you. With the camp t-shirt, who likes Switchfoot
I just wanted to let you that you’re attractive.
You’re a really fun person to be around. You’re nice, and you can be really funny at times! You’re also quite beautiful. I like what you did with your hair today.
Is that creepy? I’m sorry, listen though, here’s the thing. I noticed. Actually, everyone noticed… Every heterosexual guy who knows you has become aware of the fact that you are attractive, and there’s not much any of us can do about that fact.
It’s not like you hide it either. I mean, you dress modestly-cute on purpose right? Isn’t that because guys like me like it? How long did you spend getting ready this morning?
Listen it’s really awkward for us. Because now, if we come out admitting we like you, we are taking a gamble between learning that you like us to, and going out. Or ruining the friendship because you are going to treat us like we are weird from now on. But what’s weird about it? I think you’re cute, you don’t like me that way, let’s move on.
Why should you treat boys who want to get to know you better, like they want to kidnap you?
He is a boy, not a sexual deviant. The dude might like to kiss you under certain circumstances, but trust me it’s not like he is going to try it against your will! So you say, “I’m not interested” and you don’t worry about it anymore.
Otherwise you actually end up perpetuating a problematic cycle, whereby even the boys that you want to like you, will pretend like they don’t like you because they think that if they admit they like you and you don’t like them they’ll be treated like a freak. So then you get upset because none of the boys are paying attention to you but Becky, the standofish witch seems to have no shortage of attention from boys. You start to think that it’s just because you’re not pretty enough, when really it’s just because they value your friendship. Becky treats everyone like a pariah, so we don’t have much to lose by flirting with her.
I know that not all of these emotions are logical, and you just kindof feel what you feel. Creepy feels like creepy, I get it. But I really think this is hurting relationships, and creating Beckys. And it could be prevented if you just think about these sorts of encounters in a different way. Next time a boy is nice to you, instead of getting weird about it just say to yourself “either he is nice, or he thinks I’m cool. Either way is good news, and if he asks me out, all I have to do is say ‘no’ ” Rinse and repeat inside your head as many times as necessary.
The Power Of Yes
If you’ve been reading for any length of time it should not surprise you that I’m something of a rule breaker. I believe that Jesus was Neutral Good not Lawful Neutral and I also care about rules only in so much as they imply consequences. But I don’t value conformity much for it’s own sake.
Christian camps on the other hand, love rules. It’s just an ideal environment for rules to thrive. Wilderness locations love rules, Christians love rules, and people who work with minors love rules, so when you put all three together you have no trouble explaining that you may take a boat out, but only between 3:30 and 4, only when there is a lifeguard on duty and only north and east of the dock. You must wear your lifevest at all times, as well as sunscreen and closed toed shoes. No swimming, splashing, sailing, or having fun.
But I know of another camp that has sortof a different take on things. It’s a camp for foster kids and although there are still a lot of rules (the government mandates most of them) there is a consensus among the staff that our goal is to provide the kids with a positive experience first, and so we avoid saying “no” at all costs.
Sometimes it’s tricky of course. There are a great many things you get asked at these camps that you simply could never say yes to, So when someone says “Can we throw Mikes bed in the pool?” you end up saying something like “Oh we are going to do something way more fun than that! We can go to Rec Time!” rather than “No, That’s against camp rule #343”
Still the concept has transformed much of how I think about camp ministry and ministry in general. Such that now, at a camp with adults, where I have a reasonable amount of power to call shots, I’ve learned to answer in the affirmative as much as possible.
There is just power in the word “yes” and I love to unleash it. So where previously I might have responded to the question “How late are we allowed to stay up?” with something along the lines of “You should go to bed, it’s late” I’ll now say “You’re adults you can stay up as late as you want but you will hate yourself in the morning… You know this right?”
Sometimes they listen and go to bed, but feel respected that I trusted them, sometimes they learn a valuable lesson. It’s a win-win!
I don’t know when it was that so many of us got the impression that there was safety in rules and restrictions, and that by classifying and limiting everything we would all be better off. It seems that not only is that not true at all, but that the opposite is the case, and more than that, it’s way more fun!
To read my perspective on YES in a more political context CLICK HERE CLICK HERE to Hear More Back-story about Alignment and why I favor “Neutral Good” freedom
If you want to hear thoughts about what freedom leads to, and what freedom is for CLICK HERE
PowerPoint
Tonight I ran the PowerPoint for the Musical Worship at camp.
We have a slideshow with all the words to the worship songs set up on a computer, churches often need a person (or trained monkey) to accomplish the very menial task of pressing “next” whenever the singer finishes singing the words on the current page.
It’s been years since I’ve done that, Since High School I think. And the experience was actually pretty awesome.
Early in my christian life, when I was a 12 year old in student leadership, PowerPoint was my thing! I ran the lights and the sound and the PowerPoint for services all the time, multiple times a week. But late in high school for some reason the ministry I was involved in got kinda crowded with tech people. And everybody wanted to do the trained monkey job, as if there was some kind of prestige to it, so I moved on and started doing announcements.
Then I did Games.
Then Small Groups, Bible Studies, Sermons, Camps, and Secular Universities.
But tonight they needed me back in the sound booth pressing the next button.
I actually really engage with worship that way. I’m not normally crazy about music, I’m a terrible singer, and I have trouble engaging with what always feels like an excessive amount of time in church spent singing. But from the booth it doesn’t feel that way to me, It feels like I’m more engaged, like I’m contributing something to the sacrifice we’re offering together.
Actually there’s a sense, when you get the slides flowing with the music at just the right moment when the idea shifts from the chorus to the bridge, and you get into the flow of the song, and you almost feel like you’re a part of the band and…. Okay I’m a nerd. Maybe not.
Sharks!
The staff gathered the other night, a night before the students arrived and debriefed and hung out.
At one point one of the staff asked the room full of people about a situation that had arisen. Apparently the pool at the camp will not be open for the week, neither will “giant inflatables” which had been advertised, and she wanted to know why. “The students are going to ask.” she said.
Without hesitation, another staff, one of our Intercultural experts piped up.
“Sharks!”
…What? The sharks popped the inflatables? That makes no sense!… I mean I can understand them infesting the pool I guess…
But before I said anything, our administrator answered the question seriously (administrators are good for that).
“Well it seems, that our camp liaison has changed from the one we’ve been working with in years past, and we learned from this new liaison that the previous one had given us a sort of bonus package and included the pool and the inflatables for free, but since we did not order that, this time we won’t have access this year. Nonetheless we’re hoping that as we continue to develop a relationship that possibility will be reopened to us”
The staff response was as unanimous as it was instantaneous
“so… Sharks?”
“We’ll say sharks”
Summer Camp
It’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for me to go up to camp
again.
I’ll be up here for two weeks, but I’ll have internet access, you can expect periodic updates about my thoughts and stories at camp. Hopefully it will be an insightful and expository view behind the veil at what camp looks like for a Pro Minister.
But who knows? I haven’t experienced it yet.
What I do know is that camp is really sentimental for me. many of my first activities in ministry took place as a volunteer at various camps (and as a student before that) and when I burned out and crashed and burned ministerially, it was a job at a summer camp that got me back on my feet again.
With my background it’s actually much more likely that I would have become a Camp Program Manager rather than a College Campus Minister. But God knows best apparently (I think I read that somewhere).
Last night it was messing with me though. I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do with myself this summer without any students around and there is a considerable part of my spirit that really would like to sign up as seasonal staff at a summer camp. There’s just something about these places…
The Ultimate Testimony
I don’t have a good testimony.
Most people hate it when I say that, but it’s really true. Some people have awesome testimonies and some peoples testimonies are boring like mine. The great testimony goes something like this:
“I was born in a broken home. My father left when I was 6 months old, and when I was three my mother married a man who used to beat me and my little sister. I never connected with my earthly father so even though I had heard about God I could never really grab onto it. In College I tried to get satisfaction through women and hard partying, but I ended up getting addicted to drugs and dropping out of school. That’s when Jesus came into my life and changed everything. From that moment I turned around completely and started living for him instead of myself. I’m not saying everything was perfect. I still had some charges I needed to answer for, but things have just gotten better and better since then. Now I’m a coach for kids like me with no positive male role models in their life, and I know with a surety that when I die, I will go to heaven to live with my real heavenly Father forever.”
Awesome Right? I KNOW!
Mine is more like this
“Sooo, My father was a pastor and I don’t honestly remember what it was like to live without Christ. I do know it must have been quite early because before I could read my Great Grandma used to read me bible stories before bed. In college I acted out by volunteering at a Evangelical church (rather than a Lutheran one) and kissing girls I was not yet engaged to. I don’t drink alcohol because I’m genetically predisposed to alcoholism although I’ve never been addicted. I’m still a virgin, and my parents love me. And when I die I know that I’ll still be chilling with Jesus… pretty much the same thing I’m doing now.”
And listen, It’s not like I regret the choices I made that make my testimony different from the first one above, but I still think we should call a spade a spade, by admitting that my story just doesn’t bring the same tears to your eyes.
Why is that?
It’s not the happy ending, they both end the same way. There has to be something about that middle part that connects with us.
Is it that we relate to the first story more? That could be, but you know I really don’t think so. Most Christians I talk to have testimonies that are more like mine. But we all love that other one.
Is it just that we like stories about sex and drugs?… I really hope not.
I actually think it goes much deeper than that. I think a good testimony conforms to something larger than itself. A plot line that weaves itself throughout all of human history. A story of humble beginnings that leads to devastating consequences which are diverted at the last second and ultimately resolved.
I mean really.
Do you care? Because I don’t.
But of course that idea leads to new and even more interesting questions (all the best ideas do). If there is some Ultimate Testimony that all the great testimonies are conforming to… Uhh… Where is it? And what great eternal truth does it hold for us?
I would argue that it’s the story of creation.
That when we tell our stories about our wayward teenage years, we are echoing the corporate experience of the human race. After all, if we could invite Planet Earth to our Altar Call services, what story would she tell?
Well I was born knowing about God, but I decided pretty early on, that I would rather do things for myself. As I was growing up there was a lot of fighting, and some days I didn’t know if there would be anything to eat. Here and there I would hear about God, and sometimes I even prayed, but he was never really real for me. Ya know? By the time I was a teenager I got involved with this gang called the Roman Empire and things really started going downhill. Then Jesus came into my life and everything changed. I mean, don’t get me wrong things were still messed up, but from that moment on the church was a growing part of me, And things have been getting better and better. Now I’m getting to know Christ more and more, and trying to end things like slavery forever. And when I’m finally done with this life, I know Jesus is coming back to finish the work he’s started in me for the Kingdom Of God.
So everything that is repeated individually, is repeated globally. The bible tells me about how I can be saved. But more importantly. It tells us about how we can be saved together.
The Best Movie Ever
Go on. Leave a comment. Which movie is best?
Not your favorite movie. I want to know the best movie. Objectively.
This is another one of my favorite conversation questions, along with “What is best in life?” I feel like it tells me so much about a person when they answer, and if they answer and how much prodding it takes.
My favorite answers come immediately, as if the responder had already thought about it. Usually they offer something that would hardly be considered “best” by most critics. something like “Dumb and Dumber”
Others will think about it for a while and then offer something like the Highest rated film. Something like “Citizen Kane”
The people I have the hardest time getting along with are the type who will refuse to answer. They will dig their heels in and refuse to name a movie because nobody can say any movie is best. I find that obstinate, and a bit insecure as if they resent being asked a difficult question when I’m supposed to be following a script that contains only questions like “how are you” and answers like “fine”
But I’m learning that those people in the third group may have more evidence going for them than I originally realized.
I mean I always knew that it was kind of an unanswerable question (if you already knew the answer what fun would it be) but I had been operating under the assumption that there actually was a best movie out there somewhere, and the trick was that we couldn’t escape or bias far enough to learn what it is. After all, there are better movies, and worse movies, one of them must be best. Right?
Howard Moskiwitz says no.
Apparently, according to his findings, you can’t sell, “the perfect car” for example. Making a car faster doesn’t make it better, and there is no optimal level of speed for a car. You won’t find a bell curve, where people like cars that go 200 and no more. Some people like fast cars, some people like safe cars, some people like roomy cars. And the best you can do, is build a kind of car that your competitors are not building to appeal to people who have so far been unsatisfied.
So prior to Moskewitz there were two kinds of mustard, French’s and Guilden’s and they were both yellow. But it turns out yellow is not the ultimate mustard, it’s just the ultimate mustard for some people. so now there’s 30 mustards to choose from in your store.
Same thing with cars, with mustard, with movies… So what about churches?
Presbyterians think that God chooses who is saved and who isn’t Methodists think that’s our choice, and Lutherans think it’s something in between. Could it be that this is… a matter of preference?
Certainty we feel that way about worship styles right? I can have a guitar or a choir at my church and that’s all okay, but where’s the line? We can’t believe the Resurrection is just figurative and the bible is flawed if we want to!
…Or can we?
Is is possible that even where one should draw the line between negotiable and nonnegotiables… depends?
I think it is.
I don’t know if it’s the case, but I think it’s possible.
Also, Die Hard: Best movie ever
Osama bin Ladin
It just so happens that I was visiting New York City yesterday when Osama Bin Ladin was confirmed dead. After 10 years the long search is over
Late yesterday afternoon I drove past Ground Zero, I saw the new One World Trade Center which is about a quarter built and already an imposing structure. Even though it’s clearly a construction site, it was lighted just like any of the other buildings on the New York Skyline as if to say “Yes, New York, This is your building. It’s Coming!”
That site, Those buildings, the fateful day in 2001 when that horrible attack changed history forever has special significance to this city. To this day you can still approach any New Yorker and ask them where they were when it happened, and their tough, grizzled exterior will melt as they talk about friends they lost, and wax sentimental about what this city means to them and the solidarity they now share.
So it’s really quite an unbelievable privilege that I was able to be in the City when he was caught.
We did it.
And now we can go about the Arts of Peace. Finishing the tower, grieving our losses, celebrating out heroes, and helping the war torn wastelands on the middle east to do the same by building schools and stabilizing political systems. It’s not over. The fighting won’t end here, but it is ending, we’re in the downhill stretch and we’re on our way to better times ahead for New York, and everywhere else in the world that values peace and love.
To read about the death of a Christian Pakistani in retaliation CLICK HERE CLICK HERE to read how Christians in Nigeria and Pakistan are worried How should Christians react to bin Laden’s death? CLICK HERE to read several thoughts To watch the video of the President’s statement, CLICK HERE READ HERE as Beliefnet’s Jim Fletcher asks if all Muslims are evil To consider the heart-felt thoughts of Debbie Lee, mom of the first Navy SEAL killed in Iraq, CLICK HERE CLICK HERE to read bestselling author Linda Howard’s reaction To consider the thoughts of Beliefnet’s Kirsten Jackson, CLICK HERE CLICK HERE to watch the reaction of New Yorkers at Ground Zero CLICK HERE for photos and the text of the President’s statement To read the reaction of Beliefnet’s Ryan Gaffney CLICK HERE CLICK HERE to read Beliefnet writer Donna Calvin’s reaction
Jesus In Wonderland
“Let’s consider your age to begin with
–how old are you”
“I’m seven and a half exactly.”
“You needn’t say ‘exactually,'” the Queen remarked. ” I can believe it without that. Now I’ll give you something to believe. I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.”
” I can’t believe that!” said Alice.
“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. ” Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “One can’t believe impossible things”
Lewis Caroll
I’ve spoken before about how theologically indefensible it is to believe that you are saved by thinking (rather than by Jesus)
We’ve familiarized ourselves with Jesus’ call to “believe in me” but missed the boat at some level when we began to translate that into our lives as “Think real hard that I exist”
That interpretation, as conservative as it seems, simply will not hold up biblicaly.
But even if the bible did support it (which it doesn’t) there is another flaw is this typical theology which Caroll here exposes.
How exactly are you supposed to believe something on purpose? If you think it’s true than you think it’s true, and if not, then drawing a long breath and closing your eyes is not going to help you.