Pastor Ryan Gaffney

I have written often about my love for games, and made even more references to games that are important to me or inform my theology. I particularly love good games that force players to work together and make interesting decisions. I’ll get snobby about games that are too simplistic or noncompetitive.

So among my favorite games is a game called Pandemic, which pits players against the board itself on a  quest to cure 4 diseases before supplies run out. The catch is that is too many outbreaks occur before the cure is found, everyone loses. That means every move is a choice between patching problems before they destroy you, and actually doing work to win the game. The goal is to allow just enough fires to burn at a time that they do not blow up.

It’s a great premise for a tense game, but it is also a great illustration of real life. And it doesn’t get talked about enough.

In our world of meritocracy and perfectionism (or bitterness and jealousy, if you prefer) the rhetoric is that if something is worth doing it’s worth doing right. But in the real world there are usually 100 things worth doing, and at least a few things that are not intrinsically worth doing at all except that somebody will punish you if you don’t.

School is a great example. Despite my nerdiness, I was never above about a B student on average. I was the kid that every teacher would take aside to give the same speech “If you only applied yourself you could be getting straight As.” But I didn’t want straight As. I wanted to build fighting robots. So I did just enough to get the grades I needed.

It’s a good thing too, because even though all my teachers were sure that attitude would get me nowhere on Wall Street, it is absolutely crucial in the Ministry. Perfectionism kills clergy. And if I had trained myself for decades not to be satisfied until everything is completed to the letter, I would be in sorry shape for the church.

Instead Ministry is like Pandemic. There will always be people upset at your last sermon, or in need of more pastoral attention. There will always be maintenance concerns and financial needs. The goal cannot be to have them all resolved. The Goal instead is to plug enough of those holes to stay afloat, and then do the work of the ministry, equipping leaders for service in the Kingdom of God.

Christians don’t like Dungeons & Dragons as a rule.
We generally suspect that it just may possibly be a little bit The Devil.

But since when have I ever payed attention to christian social conventions? I think D&D provides some great fodder for analogies. Since when you boil it down it’s a rulebook for a simple created universe, it can often help us understand our own complicated created universe.

For example, when dealing with a characters allegiance, D&D found that the universe did not work well enough with a dichotomy. It’s not fun enough to create a world full only of “good guys” and “bad guys” so they invented the concept of “alignment”

D&D (3rd edition) measured characters according to 2 axis. Good vs Evil, and Lawful vs Chaotic with the understanding that some characters are neutral on each axis. Good vs Evil, measures how altruistic the character is, vs their willingness to benefit at the expense of others. Lawful vs Chaotic Measures the characters willingness to follow rules vs their propensity to break them. So all together it results in 9 possible alignments.
I’ll go through them here:

Lawful Good: This is the Law Abiding Model Citizen. Exemplified by Superman. He always does what’s right and good, fighting for truth justice and the American way! All the universe’s unimpeachabley moral characters are Lawful Good. They also tend to have perfect teeth and well behaved children

Neutral Good: This character cares about right and wrong, and if a law gets in the way it needs to be broken. Think Dirty Harry Callahan On this one. The first movie (if you haven’t seen it) Features a scene where Harry shoots a bad guy who has a little girl locked up somewhere in the city. The villain was helpless on the floor, but wouldn’t reveal the girls location, so harry stepped on the wound, and tortured him until he revealed her location. (a lawful good character would have had to call an ambulance, and risk letting the girl die)

Chaotic Good: These guys care about others more than themselves, They will fight for what’s right, but they hate rules and break the law at every opportunity and often hope to topple the government. Robin Hood is a perfect epitome of Chaotic Good. In the eyes of the law he is a thief, there is no question about it. But he’s doing what’s right in his own eyes to rob the rich and give to the poor.

Lawful Neutral: These characters often find the business of morality muddy and confusing. Or sometimes they are undereducated and unaware of the larger issues at play. But the law is clear and they will follow it. Most “townspeople” or NPCs will be Lawful Neutral. The infantry of both sides of any war consists of Lawful Neutral folk. To give you an iconic example, I nominate Sherlock Holms (or any famous police officer) It doesn’t matter whether the perpetrator is good or bad, only if they are guilty or innocent of the crime.

Neutral Neutral: If you just, flat don’t care. You may be neutral neutral. Boba Fett, would be a good example. He’ll work for whoever pays him, do whatever they pay him to do. He really doesn’t care.

Chaotic Neutral: Some characters hate law and order, but not because they want evil to triumph, but just  because they hate law and order (Usually they’re insane) Jack from the Shining is Chaotic Neutral. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”. But so is Captain Jack Sparrow he’s more interested in living the life of a pirate than he is in hurting anyone in particular.

Lawful Evil: This may sound like a contradiction but it’s not. Most evil characters end up being Lawful Evil. Adolph Hitler was Lawful Evil, as is just about any evil warlord. The Emperor from Star wars is Lawful, so is the Alliance from Firefly, the sheriff in Robin Hood, and every lawyer

Neutral Evil: Sometimes this is called the “true evil” alignment. They have no qualms about killing their partners or switching sides, and they will mow through anyone they need to to get what they want. but they will not go out of their way to cause mayhem if they see no benefit from it. Dracula is a great example of a Neutral Evil Character.

Chaotic Evil: The evil characters from your childhood that are so one dimensionally evil it’s silly are often Chaotic Evil. Think Dr Evil on this one. Lawful and Neutral Characters may justify their actions by appealing to other standards of good, but Chaotic Evil characters know they’re evil and like it that way. They might threaten to blow up the world to get money, but they also might just do it because they want to Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha

So Now that we’ve been educated about D&D philosophy here’s the question. What alignment is Christ?

What alignment are we called to?

I mean He wasn’t evil right? So that leaves 6. He was probably good but I could hear an argument for Lawful Neutral…
What say you?

Comment me up and I’ll have my answer next week at this time